Relationships are hard work, and they can also be a place of grounding, joy and safety in the world...  at the same time.  Much of what we do in couples counseling (and family counseling) is getting to know and understand ourselves and our partners more deeply so that our differences feel less threatening and can be a source of vitality in the relationship.

Couples Who Avoid Conflict

I work with couples who push away their own desires and accommodate the other to avoid disagreements. This strategy appears to work until there is something important to them and then they explode with resentment seemingly out of the blue. 

Couples With Easily Triggered Conflict

Some couples find that conflict happens fairly frequently and escalates quickly.  Arguments take on a life of their own and it takes time to feel close again afterwards.  The relationship feels really good, except when it feels really bad. 

Together We Will Work On:

• Rebuilding connection

• Increasing trust

• Learning how to communicate your needs and wants in a way that your partner can really hear you

• Developing the ability to talk productively about big topics like money, sex, marriage, children, jobs, relocating, and extended family relationships

• Getting in touch with sexual desire and passion, and navigating differences in desire

• Developing skills to make conflict productive, i.e., fighting fairly

• Making space for both the "me" and the "we" in the relationship